Military Tribute to My Grandfather

albert owensMy grandfather, Albert Owens, died back in December at the age of 86. We had the memorial service on Friday at Cheltenham Veterans Cemetery in Cheltenham, Md.

This was my first time witnessing a military salute at a funeral and I hadn’t any idea what to expect. After some words and prayers, Taps played, and the Marines folded the flag, presented it to my uncle and waited until he left so they could salute the flag on the way out.

Though I’m sure this is routine, these men didn’t know my grandfather, but they knew him to be an honored Marine, and they showed him a level of respect with these gestures that I can only admire.

Top Cereal Mascots

Cereal mascots have captured the imagination of kids for decades. Not surprisingly, that fascination has turned to nostalgia for bloggers and artists alike. In the amazing image above, Rob Sheridan explores what a cereal mascot reunion would be like, once the magic is gone. Frankenberry, the Trix Rabbit, Count Chocula, Cap’n Crunch, and Tony The Tiger sit around a dark basement, smoking cigarettes, playing Atari, looking at porn and drinking beer.

As oddly amusing as that image is, we prefer to think of these mascots in their cereal peddling heyday. And that leads us to wonder – who is the ‘best’ of these characters? So, in no particular order, here are the most popular cereal mascots we could find, and we’ll let you decide the best one in the comments at the bottom of this article.

Count Chocula – General Mills

I’d argue this guy is the most popular of the General Mills Monster Cereals… I mean, he said “I vant to eat your cereal!” and those arguments he had with Frankenberry were nothing short of Abbott and Costello classic.

Frankenberry – General Mills

Long before we had Tinkey Winkey, the purple Teletubbie said to be homosexual by the Rev. Jerry Falwell, we had Frankenberry, the pink, passive, wimpy monster who was scared of Boo Berry and acted like a sissy. I don’t know a single dude who ate this cereal, but I spent years watching him throw hissy-fits as Count Chocula out-dueled him in which-cereal-is-better arguments.

Boo Berry – General Mills

The Boo Berry ghost was born in 1973 and went through several changes over the years (see them here). As for the cereal itself… I believe I tried it once and I was spitting blue for the rest of the day.

Snap Crackle and Pop – Rice Krispies

This was the only cereal on this list that my mother routinely bought for us, probably because it had less sugar than the others. Here is a nice vintage commercial which is almost nothing like the more modern versions

The Trix Rabbit – General Mills

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
That poor rabbit just couldn’t get a break. The kids kept taking his cereal!

Tony the Tiger – Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes

They’re Grrrreat! I think that’s about all this cat is known for. Too bad, because he seems to have so much more potential.

L.C. Leprechaun – Lucky Charms

The fun part about this cereal was memorizing all of the names of the marshmallows. It started with pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers. The lineup has changed over the years, with blue diamonds in 1975. Purple horseshoes in 1984, red balloons in 1989, rainbows in 1992, pots of gold in 1994, leprechaun hats in 1996, shooting stars in 1998, and hourglass in 2008.

Dig’em Frog – Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks

This frog’s big thing was slapping five to kids and vice versa. Never had the luxury of trying this cereal, because with ‘sugar’ in the title my mother instantly objected.

Toucan Sam – Kellogg’s Froot Loops

I don’t know what it was about Toucan Sam, but whatever it was, I wanted that cereal! Just had it the other day, and I could feel my teeth rotting in my skull.

Cap’n Crunch – Quaker Oats

The good Captain was probably the least silly and most well-spoken of all the cereal mascots on the list, but the cereal itself looked like little doggie biscuits. Didn’t taste too bad, though.

Sonny – General Mills Cocoa Puffs

I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
Now this guy rules and I hope he wins your affection in the comments below.

Buzz Bee – Honey Nut Cheerios

Like Rice Krispies, this cereal, relatively speaking, was healthier, therefore my mother fed it to me more often than the more sugary kinds. And this character clearly paved the way for Jerry Seinfeld’s Bee Movie.

Sunny – Kellogg’s Raisin Bran

Two scoops of raisins, in Kellogg’s Rainsin Bran!
I didn’t care for the stupid sun coming up and dumping two scoops of raisins in my Kellog’s Raisin Bran. I was more into that whole California Raisin fad.

Sugar Bear – Post Super Golden Crisp

I really like this guy’s theme song, which goes… “Can’t get enough of Super Golden Crisp… It’s got the crunch with punch.”

Mikey – Quaker Oats Life

Last but not least, the most popular human mascot I’ve ever run across in a cereal commercial, almost entirely because of a famous phrase:

 

The Most Important Jobs in Sports (With the Least to Do)

Certain roles in team sports don’t require a lot of time on the field. But those few minutes may determine the difference between winning and losing. It almost seems unfair that players who spend the most amount of time on the field, battling back and forth for hours, need to step aside so the fate of their team is on the foot or bat or arm of a guy who hardly plays. But that’s sports. Now, let’s take a look at some of the most important jobs in sports with the least to do.

Kicker in Football

It’s all up to you, Mr. Norwood.

Talk about pressure. A field goal kicker is typically on the field less than any other player on the team (with the exception of backups), but what this guy does can either make or break the game, if not the entire season. Players from both sides go at each others’ throats for an entire game, fighting for every last inch of space, only to have a skinny dude come trotting in to kick the ball. If he makes it, he’s simply doing his job. If he misses it, no matter how far away it is – 50, 55, 60 yards – he’s the goat.

Of course a backup player, especially a quarterback, can come into games and made a huge difference. That can happen in most team sports, but in football, the kicker’s role is like this every game.

Relief Pitcher in Baseball

No pressure, Mr. Rivera, just the 2001 World Series.

There are two outs in the ninth inning. Three runners on. The previous pitcher walked the last two batters. Now it’s your job to go out there and get that last out. If you do, you’re simply doing your job. If you don’t, you have failed and cost your team the game. You’re not being asked to do anything more than get one guy out. You’re not a starter – you don’t have to slog through five innings. Just one guy. And though you didn’t put those base runners on, your inability to get this one guy out is literally the difference between winning and losing.

Of course in baseball, there are also a number of examples of a pinch-hitter coming in, homering, and winning the game. But this isn’t so rare, and the player’s failure to advance a runner isn’t always the single difference between winning and losing.

Enforcer in Hockey

Sit. Fight. Sit in the penalty box. Total minutes played: 1.

The enforcer in hockey is one of the most misunderstood roles in the sport. The guy isn’t meant to simply go out there and punch people. That would be too easy. In fact, some enforcers might even play hockey for a good ten minutes a game and not get into a fight. But when the enforcer is used to the best degree possible, it’s likely that he might not even have to play.

The enforcer’s reputation precedes him. The opponent knows this guy is tough and can knock someone’s teeth out. The opponent knows that if they play dirty against the other team’s star player, they’ll have to pay the price. Want to pull a cheap shot on Wayne Gretzky? You’ll have to dance with Marty McSorley. Don’t want to get hit in the face by McSorley? Then give Gretzky some space, which is to his advantage, which means McSorley just has to sit on the bench and shake his fist at the opponent.

Bench Player in Basketball

I barely play, but when I do, it’s in the third overtime of a championship game.

This scenario happens infrequently, but when it does it always makes for a great story. In foul-laden basketball games that go into overtime, it’s not unusual for the DNP/Coach’s Decision fellas to get minutes, but only because… there’s no one else to put in. And it’s at that time when the game is actually decided. So it’s literally up to the bench-warmers to decide the game.

Example: In 1976, Glenn McDonald came off the bench in game 5 of the NBA finals in the 3rd overtime, and scored eight points to lead the Celtics to victory.

Faceoff Specialist in Lacrosse

I’ve got news for you, bro. I’m going to win this faceoff.

To call possession important in lacrosse would be an understatement. But with faceoffs after each goal, having one guy who can’t do anything but win faceoffs makes a huge difference. Alex Smith, who played for the University of Delaware, and professionally for the Chesapeake Bayhawks, is the best faceoff guy of all time. Here he is teaching his tricks: