This is likely the worst life story I’ll ever write about, but the more I hear about Dr. Who, the more I feel compelled to share why I don’t watch it.
When I was in first or second grade, at Beltsville elementary, one of my classmates was a tall, slow-witted blond kid. As I remember it, he was a friend of mine, but as a 6-year-old, it was apparent that he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. To give a clearer picture of how I remember him at the age of six, see Tom ‘M-O-O-N’ Cullen from Steven King’s The Stand, though I’ll admit that’s unfair and not nice.
Anyway, the teacher asked us all if we had done our homework from the night before. We all had, except for him.
“Well I had to watch Dr. Who,” he said.
And with that, I promised myself I would never watch Dr. Who.
Again, I don’t claim to have any superiority over this guy, and I certainly watch my fair share of silly television, but his endorsement of the show and the fact that he didn’t do his homework because of it awakened a prejudice within me that permanently turned me off from ever watching that show. Glad he didn’t say the same thing about Ancient Aliens.
My grandfather, Albert Owens, died back in December at the age of 86. We had the memorial service on Friday at Cheltenham Veterans Cemetery in Cheltenham, Md.
This was my first time witnessing a military salute at a funeral and I hadn’t any idea what to expect. After some words and prayers, Taps played, and the Marines folded the flag, presented it to my uncle and waited until he left so they could salute the flag on the way out.
Though I’m sure this is routine, these men didn’t know my grandfather, but they knew him to be an honored Marine, and they showed him a level of respect with these gestures that I can only admire.
The Screaming Squirrels won their fourth ice championship last week. It was the first since 2010, and our seventh overall including the roller team. Read more about it on the Screaming Squirrels site.
Cereal mascots have captured the imagination of kids for decades. Not surprisingly, that fascination has turned to nostalgia for bloggers and artists alike. In the amazing image above, Rob Sheridan explores what a cereal mascot reunion would be like, once the magic is gone. Frankenberry, the Trix Rabbit, Count Chocula, Cap’n Crunch, and Tony The Tiger sit around a dark basement, smoking cigarettes, playing Atari, looking at porn and drinking beer.
As oddly amusing as that image is, we prefer to think of these mascots in their cereal peddling heyday. And that leads us to wonder – who is the ‘best’ of these characters? So, in no particular order, here are the most popular cereal mascots we could find, and we’ll let you decide the best one in the comments at the bottom of this article.
Count Chocula – General Mills
I’d argue this guy is the most popular of the General Mills Monster Cereals… I mean, he said “I vant to eat your cereal!” and those arguments he had with Frankenberry were nothing short of Abbott and Costello classic.
Frankenberry – General Mills
Long before we had Tinkey Winkey, the purple Teletubbie said to be homosexual by the Rev. Jerry Falwell, we had Frankenberry, the pink, passive, wimpy monster who was scared of Boo Berry and acted like a sissy. I don’t know a single dude who ate this cereal, but I spent years watching him throw hissy-fits as Count Chocula out-dueled him in which-cereal-is-better arguments.
Boo Berry – General Mills
The Boo Berry ghost was born in 1973 and went through several changes over the years (see them here). As for the cereal itself… I believe I tried it once and I was spitting blue for the rest of the day.
Snap Crackle and Pop – Rice Krispies
This was the only cereal on this list that my mother routinely bought for us, probably because it had less sugar than the others. Here is a nice vintage commercial which is almost nothing like the more modern versions
The Trix Rabbit – General Mills
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
That poor rabbit just couldn’t get a break. The kids kept taking his cereal!
Tony the Tiger – Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes
They’re Grrrreat! I think that’s about all this cat is known for. Too bad, because he seems to have so much more potential.
L.C. Leprechaun – Lucky Charms
The fun part about this cereal was memorizing all of the names of the marshmallows. It started with pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers. The lineup has changed over the years, with blue diamonds in 1975. Purple horseshoes in 1984, red balloons in 1989, rainbows in 1992, pots of gold in 1994, leprechaun hats in 1996, shooting stars in 1998, and hourglass in 2008.
Dig’em Frog – Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks
This frog’s big thing was slapping five to kids and vice versa. Never had the luxury of trying this cereal, because with ‘sugar’ in the title my mother instantly objected.
Toucan Sam – Kellogg’s Froot Loops
I don’t know what it was about Toucan Sam, but whatever it was, I wanted that cereal! Just had it the other day, and I could feel my teeth rotting in my skull.
Cap’n Crunch – Quaker Oats
The good Captain was probably the least silly and most well-spoken of all the cereal mascots on the list, but the cereal itself looked like little doggie biscuits. Didn’t taste too bad, though.
Sonny – General Mills Cocoa Puffs
I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
Now this guy rules and I hope he wins your affection in the comments below.
Buzz Bee – Honey Nut Cheerios
Like Rice Krispies, this cereal, relatively speaking, was healthier, therefore my mother fed it to me more often than the more sugary kinds. And this character clearly paved the way for Jerry Seinfeld’s Bee Movie.
Sunny – Kellogg’s Raisin Bran
Two scoops of raisins, in Kellogg’s Rainsin Bran!
I didn’t care for the stupid sun coming up and dumping two scoops of raisins in my Kellog’s Raisin Bran. I was more into that whole California Raisin fad.
Sugar Bear – Post Super Golden Crisp
I really like this guy’s theme song, which goes… “Can’t get enough of Super Golden Crisp… It’s got the crunch with punch.”
Mikey – Quaker Oats Life
Last but not least, the most popular human mascot I’ve ever run across in a cereal commercial, almost entirely because of a famous phrase:
My grandfather, Albert Owens, 
The Screaming Squirrels won their fourth ice championship last week. It was the first since 2010, and our seventh overall including the roller team. Read more about it on the