Pitchers’ ‘Wins’ Are Misleading

Last Thursday, Randy Johnson became the 24th pitcher in baseball history to get at least 300 wins. While, relatively speaking, this is a remarkable feat, the way in which the pitcher’s W is calculated in baseball is misleading. Baseball purists will argue till their death that it makes sense, but to me a pitcher’s W in baseball is a deceptive statistic that should only be taken with a grain of salt.

First, the definition. A ‘win’ is a statistic in Major League Baseball credited to the pitcher for the winning team who was in the game when his team last took the lead.

There are two exceptions. The more common exception is that a starting pitcher must complete five innings to earn a win (four innings for a game that lasts only five innings on defense). I’m assuming the rule makers picked five innings because that makes it the majority of the game (they could have also picked six or seven, thus making it even more difficult to earn a win, but settled on five). If the starting pitcher fails to meet the innings requirement, the official scorer awards the win to the relief pitcher who, in the official scorer’s judgment, was the most effective.

One problem with this rule is that a starting pitcher can earn a ‘loss’ in no set number of innings, even though he might not pitch the majority of the game, and even though his relievers can give up runs as well. It makes sense that the pitcher gets the loss, but if he does while pitching less than five innings, than logically he should be able to get a win for pitching less than five innings. That aside, there’s an even bigger reason why the ‘five innings for a starter’ rule does not make sense, and that is because an ‘effective’ relief pitcher can earn a victory without pitching five innings. Simply speaking, that’s inconsistent. Why should a starter be unable to earn a victory without pitching five innings when a reliever can come in, pitch one inning, and get the W? Not fair.

The second exception applies only to a relief pitcher who makes a “brief appearance” and is himself later relieved. If, in the official scorer’s judgment, the relief pitcher was “ineffective,” the win is awarded to the succeeding relief pitcher who was most effective, in the official scorer’s judgment. Again, I understand why baseball does this, but this still meddles with a straightforward formula.

I’ve also got to point out that a pitcher has almost no control over whether he gets a win, since he must rely on the team’s offense to score. Unlike other sports, baseball, relatively speaking, isn’t played in a way that defense can transition to offensive chances. For instance, great defenders in hockey, soccer, football and basketball can create scoring chances themselves. And let’s not forget that a pitcher must rely on his fielders to do their jobs (though if they don’t then they’re assessed errors and the hits and ‘earned’ runs don’t count to the pitcher, but a loss does).

The last thing that is misleading about a pitcher’s ‘win’ statistic is the fact that pitchers often rely on relief pitchers (who get ‘holds’ and ‘saves’) to complete the games for them, therefore putting the starter’s W in another person’s hand completely. Many years ago, it was more common for pitchers to pitch complete games, so when they earned a victory, it meant a hell of a lot more than a pitcher who is there for only 5/9th of a game (and especially a lot more than a reliever who gets the win while only playing one inning). That would be like hockey goalies playing only the first two periods of each game and getting a decision (which technically can happen but rarely does it result in a win). Therefore, complete game victories are the most accurate and unmolested W there can possibly be in this column (and even that relies on an offense to produce, which again is completely out of the pitcher’s hands. Pedro Martinez once retired 27 straight batters but didn’t get the victory because the Expos didn’t score).

So, my point is, MLB should remove the two exceptions to the rule as noted above, and also de-emphasize the stat entirely, and instead focus on ERA and highlight complete game victories.

My next article will be about why the Home Run statistic should be divided up between ‘clean’ and ‘roid-aided.’

Album Review: Marilyn Manson’s ‘The High End of Low’

Unlike just about every other album he has put out, Marilyn Manson doesn’t attempt to reinvent himself with The High End of Low, and it results in 15 tracks that build on past strengths without being just a rehash of his 90s glory. While the previous effort, 2007’s Eat Me, Drink Me, played as a diary entry into his soul – which at times I felt I wasn’t meant to hear – Low is meant to entertain, and that it does.

The hook song is Arma-Godd**n-Motherf**kin-Geddon, the Beautiful People of this album, and has the catchy riffs and singalongability as any of his greatest hits. And for that I say, welcome back, Twiggy. Some of the other songs may require a couple of listens, particularly the 9 minute I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies, which is Manson’s When the Levee Breaks (not a remake, just to be clear). Unlike albums such as Mechanical Animals, which has several songs that would instantly hook a fan, Low might not do that (with the exception of the Armageddon song), but if you’re like me, it’ll grow on you pretty quickly. For a treat, purchase the deluxe edition of this album, which includes six bonus tracks.

Mini Marilyn Manson Rocks the Crowds

As a big Marilyn Manson fan, I discovered recently that there’s a mini version of him paying tribute. His name is Nic Reddy, 22, who stands 3’9″ and rocks audiences using Manson’s in-your-face theatrics. To me, that sounds like good ole’ fun, and I hope to catch his act soon. Here’s the interview:

Basically, your act is to be up on stage and lip-sync the Marilyn songs?

Nic: For now I lip-sync, I usually perform in small clubs or bars with no sound system and it’s just easier. I find that karaoke versions of Manson’s songs are shit and sounds like people made them on a keyboard you would buy from the toy store in 1985. One day I might go live if I can figure out an easy way to do it by myself.

Which songs do you usually do?

Nic: I do any song I’m in the mood for really. It doesn’t have to be one of Marilyn’s hits. I’ll do anything from “Tainted Love” to “Antichrist Superstar.”

Typically, how is the audience reaction?

Nic: People love it… I still can’t figure out why (haha) but it’s usually really die-hard Manson fans that appreciate Mini Manson the most because they know I’m a fan myself and don’t just do it for the money.

Were you in the Kiss tribute band with Terra Jolé?

Nic: Yes I was, that was my first gig. I grew up a major Kiss fan so it was an honor to do that and work with someone with real musical talent like Terra.

What’s your day job?

Nic: I work at a night club called The Box in Manhattan. It’s actually where Mini Manson first hit the stage. Since then I do other performances there but no mini’s. I’m not going to run around as Mini Michael Jackson because someone tells me to.

Have you met Manson and what’s he say about your act?

Nic: I met Manson on his Rape the World tour in ’07. I think he was just as excited to meet me as I was to meet him. You never know how someone you impersonate is going to react so I was really flattered to find out that he shows people that there’s a mini-him running around.

How often do you play and where?

Nic: I only do Mini Manson upon request, I don’t feel the need to shove it down audience’s throats. I usually do a show about once a month but it really picks up around Halloween.


Six Questions with: Nic Reddy – Mini Marilyn Manson

Nic Reddy, 22, stands 3’9″ and performs as Mini Marilyn Manson. He really rocks the audiences using Manson’s in-your-face theatrics. He even has his own Myspace page (of course).

Six Questions:

Who is your favorite Athlete?
I try not to get attached to athletes just the teams. I learned that when Johnny Damon went to the Yankees. I’m a huge Sox fan.
Who is your favorite Hottie?
Elvira is still f@#%ing hot in my book.
Who is your favorite Comedian?
Brendon Small (creator of Metalocalypse and Home Movies)
What is your favorite Movie?
Give me gore and I’ll take it. So anything from The Omen, Re-animator to Ginger Snaps
What is your favorite Gadget?
My Crackberry
What is your favorite Beer?
Budlight or Amstel

Top Ten Funniest Child TV Stars

All too often on comedy shows, the children are there as virtual props. Sure, they walk and talk, and recite their lines, but are they usually funny? No. In fact, they’re more likely to be annoying. Only a select few played their parts so well that their natural talents to make people laugh fit in perfectly with the scripts. Here are ten talented people who deserved the roles in which they played (in the last 30 or so years, since children were never funny on TV before 1978).

10. Todd Bridges

Diff’rent Strokes (1978–1986)
We love you Willis. Sure, you weren’t nothin’ without brother Arnold (Gary Coleman), but funny enough to be No. 10 on this list. (I bumped Ricky Schroder in favor of Bridges when I realized that Schroder wasn’t really that funny)

9. David Faustino

Married… With Children (1987-1997)
While Married… With Children was low-brow comedy for sure, Faustino was up (or down) for the challenge of playing the perverted Bud, son of Al and Peggy.

8. Fred Savage

The Wonder Years (1988-1993)
Personally, I thought big brother Wayne (Jason Hervey) made this show funny but Fred Savage was the heart and soul and got his share of laughs, though often helped with the clever narration by Daniel Stern.

7. Tyler James Williams

Everybody Hates Chris (2005-2008)
Obviously it’s Chris Rock who makes this show funny, and Tyler James Williams does a fine job acting as the young Chris in this four-season series.

6. Frankie Muniz

Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006)
This very well-written and acted show was perhaps the most underrated comedy on television. Yes, it won Emmys, but I seriously doubt Malcolm in the Middle cast a lasting impression among television viewers. Kudos to the other boys in the cast, as well.

5. The Gals of the Facts of Life

The Facts of Life (1979-1988)
Can’t pick just one, so have to give props to Mindy Cohn, Kim Fields and Lisa Welschel, who played Natalie, Tootie and Blair.

4. Jason Bateman

Silver Spoons (1982-1986), It’s Your Move (1984-1985), The Hogan Family (1986-1991).
According to Wikipedia: Jason Bateman’s razor-sharp performance as Derek garnered him much critical acclaim and popularity among young viewers, so much that the producers of Silver Spoons gave him his own starring vehicle.

3. Sara Gilbert

Roseanne (1988-1997)
This middle child tomboy played off of Roseanne Barr and John Goodman better than any of the other kids and her sarcastic wit was plenty to keep the viewer laughing while big momma and papa disappeared behind the curtain. Darlene, my dear, you weren’t the hottest Conner kid (that honor goes to both Becky’s), but you were, by far, the funniest.

2. Jaleel White

Family Matters (1989-1997)
This was an awful show, and I would know because I never missed an episode during the early seasons. It shouldn’t have lasted. It was about a family with a fat police officer father. Big deal. Then comes along Steve Urkel, snapping his suspenders, hiking up his pants and talking in a squeaky voice, and the show found its life. Yes, he was corny, but he played the part so well that the focus on the show went from the family to him. Gotta give credit where credit it due.

1. Gary Coleman

Diff’rent Strokes (1978–1986)
I’d like to say, this is a No. 1 by far. Gary’s most recent project is the film Midgets vs. Mascots (which Gunaxin is helping to promote). Gary, if you see this, you’re still the funniest after all these years, not just in the past 30 but all time!

Not funny: Cosby kids, just about anyone in the 50s and 60s.
Not eligible: Actors who played much younger parts, such as Michael J. Fox, Jimmy Walker and Fred “Rerun” Berry. These guys will go on the list of Top Ten Funniest Adult Actors Who Played Kids on TV.

Hangin’ With Manute Bol

I finally got to meet one of my favorite basketball players ever, one of the the best shot blockers in NBA history, Manute Bol. Now 46 years old but still towering over us at 7’7″, Bol has spent the years since his retirement from the league doing Bono-like deeds without the Bono-like headlines.

A Sudan native, Bol has given his fortune to help the people of his war-torn country, founded the Ring True Foundation and helps to raise money to build schools through Sudan Sunrise. He had a stint as a horse jockey, suited up for an ice hockey team, and even boxed William “The Refrigerator” Perry, all in the name of earning money for noble causes. I’d like to see Bono do that.

In October he stepped into the role as a spokesman for Ethiopian Airlines Journeys, where he promotes tourism to Ethiopia and East Africa, and is planning on hosting an NBA Legends trip there in the fall. “When you go there, you will want to go back again and again,” Bol said. And I’ll vouch for him, because I have been to Ethiopia and it was easily the most exciting trip I’ve ever been on in my life.

Bol played for the Washington Bullets, Philadelphia 76ers, Golden State Warriors and Miami Heat during a ten year career. He told me that one of his best memories was when he was playing for the Bullets and had a triple-double. He now lives in Kansas City.

As with Gheorghe Muresan, my interview with Bol ended on a high note when I asked him Gunaxin’s Six Questions.

Six Questions with: Manute Bol

Who is your favorite Athlete?
Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Kevin Garnett, and countryman Luol Deng
Who is your favorite Hottie?
Ajok Kuag (his wife who cost him a whopping 150 cows)
Who is your favorite Comedian?
Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle
What is your favorite Movie?
Rambo
What is your favorite Gadget?
Phone
What is your favorite Beer?
Heineken