Ten Reasons Why “Lost Boys” Is Cool

Of all the vampire shows and movies out now, it’s easy to forget where it all began: 1987’s The Lost Boys.

Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It’s fun to be a vampire.

Don’t feed me that Nosferatu or Bella Lugosi crap, no one wanted to be like those freaks. And Interview With the Vampire, published in 1976, wasn’t a movie until 1994.

Sure, most of The Lost Boys actors in this bloody rock ‘n’ roll beach opera are punchlines now (Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Jason Patric, etc.) but back in the day, when we were kids, we looked up to these teenaged slackers who infested Santa Carla.

Though there are far more than ten reasons, let’s count down some of our favorite things about this film.

 


1 Cry Little Sister by Gerard McMann

This is one of the coolest songs ever sung by anyone ever. It has that dark-side-of-the 80’s feel, and even sounds like a song that the Vampire Lestat would’ve sang in his band had the Anne Rice novels been made into films sooner.

 


2 Kiefer Sutherland as David

This villain is so cool that we all wanted to be just like him. I don’t care what anyone calls me, but I’ll repeat: Kiefer Sutherland back in the day was super friggin cool.


3 The Frog Brothers

This is back when Corey Feldman was still tha man, and playing a vampire killer certainly paved the road for Buffy.

 


4 The Party Scene

Jammin’ to Aerosmith and Run-DMC’s Walk This Way and having a bloody good time.


5 Racing on the Beach

Who doesn’t want to have a late-night motorcycle race on the beach? Here is the right video to the wrong song, because everyone wants to make mashups now:


6 David vs. Michael

The most intense scene in any movie ever.


7 Killing Marko

So long to Bill from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

 


8 The Rest of the Soundtrack

Cry Little Sister isn’t the only must-have song on The Lost Boys: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, the rest are great, too, even the covers.

  • Good Times – INXS/Jimmy Barnes
  • Lost in the Shadows (The Lost Boys) – Lou Gramm (Video below)
  • Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me – Roger Daltrey
  • Laying Down the Law – INXS/Jimmy Barnes
  • People Are Strange – Echo & the Bunnymen
  • Cry Little Sister (Theme from the Lost Boys) – Gerard McMann (See above)
  • Power Play – Eddie and the Tide
  • I Still Believe – Tim Capello
  • Beauty Has Her Way – Mummy Calls
  • To the Shock of Miss Louise – Thomas Newman

9 Dropping into the Foggy Gorge

While hanging under the railroad tracks, they wait for a train to come and then plunge into the mist.


10 The Final Scene

Grandpa is the hero. “One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the damn vampires.”

Screaming Squirrels Website (Re) Launches!

I’m happy to announce that nearly two years after it went down, we’ve re-launched a website for my ice and roller team, the Screaming Squirrels. This time the website is http://www.screamingsquirrelshockey.com as opposed to the same url without the word ‘hockey’ in it. When that domain expired, some idiot bought it and put it up for bid. It expires in April and we’re hoping to get it back because screamingsquirrelshockey is way too long to type.

The 25 Best Korn Songs

In anticipation of Korn’s 9th studio album, which we’re holding our breath for until it’s released in June, 2010, let’s take a look back at some of the best songs by this band as they continue to add to their catalog of hits.


25 When Will This End?

Take a Look in the Mirror

This is at the end of the album and followed by a cover of Metallica’s One on the same track. That’s the only annoying part about listening to this song off the album… there’s a delay in between the songs.

Best lyrics:
I can’t seem to get away
I feel I’m here so you can play
With my head
There’s nothing I can say
I keep feeling like I’m to blame
When will this end?


24 Play Me

Take a Look in the Mirror

To me, this is Korn’s best collaboration with a rapper, and the reason I am now a Nas fan.

Best lyrics:
Everybody’s an Enemy
telling me lies and it’s killing me
why they all they want to get rid of me
Everybody’s my enemy
Several try to disguise the devil in them
Wanting to get into my cerebellum but I’m
Ready and willing to tell them that I can’t f with them
Exhale so hard it got my chest swelling
like my dick does watching naked women
do sick stuff on my porn collection on television


23 Evolution

Untitled

The Untitled album didn’t sell well but overall it’s not bad music, and this is one of the few tracks that stands out on its own.

Best lyrics:
And I
I do not dare deny
the basic beast inside
It’s right here, it’s controlling my mind
And why
do I deserve to die?
I’m dominated by, this animal that’s locked up inside

iTunes sales rank: #4


22 Reclaim My Place

Follow the Leader

There’s something similar about the beginning of this song and the beginning of Justin.

Best lyrics:
In the past I was known as a freak.
Had no friends, picked on ’cause I was weak.
Save my ass, I got into this band.
Never thought the band would pick on the man.


21 Justin

Follow the Leader

See above.

Best lyrics:
Fuck all that bullshit!


20 Good God

Life is Peachy

Best lyrics:
You came into my life without a single thing.
I gave in to your ways, which left me with nothing.
I’ve given in to smiles, I fell for all your games.
I wish so bad right now, I hadn’t let you win.


19 Alone I Break

Untouchables

This is also on the list of Gunaxin’s Best Songs About Suicide

Best lyrics:
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn’t seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

iTunes sales rank: #18


18 Twisted Transistor

See You on the Other Side

Like other Korn songs, this took some getting used to. First I heard it was on Saturday Night Live but didn’t warm up to it until listening to the album several times.

Best lyrics:
Hey you, hey you, Devil’s little sister
Listening to your Twisted Transistor
Hold it between your legs
Turn it up, turn it up
The wind is coming through
Can’t get enough

iTunes sales rank: #3


17 Somebody Someone

Issues

Best lyrics:
I need somebody, someone
Can’t somebody help me?
All I need is to be
Loved just for me


16 Open Up

See You on the Other Side

Best lyrics:
Open up now
Head in the sky
Here’s the tongue that
Keeps telling lies
Feelings in my mouth
You breathe in but can’t breathe out


15 Hollow Life

Untouchables

Korn’s look up to the stars and ponder about life song.

Best lyrics:
Is there ever any wonder why we look to the sky?
Search in vain, asking “why?”
All alone, where is God?
Looking down, we don’t know


14 Did My Time

Take a Look in the Mirror

The best part about this song was Angelina Jolie.

Best lyrics:
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn’t last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

iTunes sales rank: #21

Also good on this album: Right Now, When Will This End and Play Me with Nas


13 Throw Me Away

See You on the Other Side

This song sounds much better on the MTV Unplugged album.

Best lyrics:
Don’t let them throw me away
Keep me and I’ll be okay
Skipping a beat but it plays
Don’t let them throw me away
Don’t let them throw me away

iTunes sales rank: #36


 

12 Last Legal Drug

See You on the Other Side

Best lyrics:
So please, when you die, could you scream
Mercy, mercy for you and me
It’s true what they say, fuckin’ for love
might be the last legal drug
So please, when you cry, let it flow
I might make you stay, let you go
It’s true what they say, fuckin’ for love
might be the last legal drug


11 No One’s There

Untouchables

This is my personal favorite Korn song ever. Watching them play it in concert in 2002 took my breath away.

Best lyrics:
You and me we have no faces
Soon our lives will be erased
Do you think they will remember?
Or will we just be replaced
Oh I wish that I could see
How I wish that I could fly
Far from things that hang above me
To a place where I can cry


10 Coming Undone

See You on the Other Side

Best lyrics:
Keep holding on
When my brain’s tickin’ like a bomb
Guess the black bots have come Again to get me
Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along mocking bird
You don’t affect me

iTunes sales rank (#1)


9 Trash

Issues

Best lyrics:
Your feelings
I can’t help but rape them
I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same
My heart inside is constantly hating
I’m sorry, I just throw you away

iTunes sales rank: #27


8 Blind

Korn

Korn’s first big hit. I’ll admit when I heard it, I thought, not bad but didn’t think the band would become as big as it did.

Best lyrics:
This place inside my mind, a place I like to hide
You don’t know the chances. What if I should die?!
A place inside my brain, another kind of pain
You don’t know the chances. I’m so blind!

iTunes sales rank: #7


7 A.D.I.D.A.S.

Life is Peachy

One of the most creative titles I’ve seen.

Best lyrics:
I don’t know your fucking name
So what? Lets fuck!

iTunes sales rank: #9


6 Make Me Bad

Issues

This song sounds great on the MTV Unplugged album as Jonathan Davis sings this mixed with the Cure’s In Between Days with Robert Smith.

Best lyrics:
I feel the reason as it’s leaving me, no not again
It’s quite deceiving as I’m feeling, the flesh made me bad

iTunes sales rank: #19


5 Freak on a Leash

Follow the Leader

Amy Lee sings this song beautifully with Davis on the MTV Unplugged album, and the Dante Ross remix also sounds great.

Best lyrics:
Something takes a part of me
You and I were meant to be
A cheap f*** for me to lay
Something takes a part of me
Part of me, part of me
Part of me

iTunes sales rank #2


4 Falling Away From Me

Issues

Best lyrics:
Hey, I’m feeling tired
My time is gone today
You flirt with suicide
Sometimes that’s OK
Do what others say
I’m here standing hollow
Falling away from me, falling away from me

iTunes sales rank: #5


3 Here to Stay

Untouchables

Best lyrics:
The hurt inside is fading
This shit gone way too far.
All this time I’ve been waiting
No I can not grieve anymore.
For what’s inside awaking.
*I’m done*, I’m not a whore
You’ve taken everything and oh I can not give anymore.

iTunes sales rank: #15


2 Thoughtless

Untouchables

This song blew me away the first time I heard it and it never ceases to do so. The fade-in at 3:34 of the track followed by the chorus is like an explosive discharge of raw musical power that few bands are capable of doing.

Best lyrics:
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down.
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me.
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground.

Best lyrics #2:
Oh, all my hate cannot be found.
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.
So, you can try to tear me down,
Beat me to the ground,
I will see you screaming.


Got the Life

Follow the Leader

Korn’s most in-your-face song that got popular on MTV. Like other Korn songs, this also sounds great with the Josh Abraham remix. I could’ve done without it on the MTV Unplugged disk as just can’t sound good acoustically.

Jonathan Davis says…

“That’s a song baggin’ on myself. How everything’s always handed to me. How I look up to God and don’t want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I’ve got everything I really need but I sometimes don’t like. I don’t know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actually get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. That’s what I’m getting out of it right now.”

Best lyrics:
Hate, something, sometime, someway, something kick off the floor for…
Mine? Something, inside.
I’ll never ever follow.
So give.. me.. some.. thing.. that.. is.. for.. real.
I’ll never ever follow.

iTunes sales rank: #11

Is Def Leppard Cool?

Like other bands, Def Leppard’s career had a rapid ascent, a very high peak despite typical rock n’ roll issues, and a sliding board decent. They started off as a small band with an explosive first couple of albums, took the world’s center stage in the mid 80s, stuck around throughout the 90s with decent albums that only true fans listened to, then jumped the shark in the 2000s with albums so terrible that even their loyal audience found themselves not liking them anymore.

But in music, should the winter of a band’s career be considered when deciding whether they are ultimately cool? You can always say they used to be cool, but that would be like saying Stephen King was a good writer, or Lauren Bacall used to be a good actress. If artists quit while they were ahead, and didn’t ‘damage their legacy’ with late career, watered-down and ‘experimental’ moves, projects or creations, then they would be much easier to define. But very few leave the game on top, and even fewer are good enough to remain relevant after their so-called ‘prime.’

Now back to Def Leppard. Assuming you’re reading this, then you already know something about the band, and I’ll spare you the history. Instead I’ll go album-by-album to show the bell-curve of their career, and at the end you can vote if they can still be considered ‘cool.’

1 On Through the Night 1980

Def Leppard introduced themselves the way young, long-haired rockers should – with raw, in-your-face rock ‘n roll, with that fresh, we’re-here-to-stay spirit. While no true classic songs came off of this album, as a whole, On Through the Night is the type of record that all new rock bands should strive to put out if they really mean business. These young Brits have talent and they’ll make it far in this business.

Best songs: Rock Brigade, Sorrow is a Woman, Satellite, When the Walls Come Tumbling Down, Wasted, Overture.

2 High ‘n’ Dry 1981

Enter “Mutt” Lange, one of the most successful producers of our time. And like many other successful bands with lots of energy and ideas, Def Leppard’s follow up to their first album was relatively quick and didn’t stray too far from the same sounds. But this one had a signature song, Bringin’ on the Heartbreak, that made more people take notice (Mariah Carey covered this song in 2002 – it’s one of the few songs that sounds good in completely different genres of music).

Best songs: Let It Go, Another Hit and Run, Bringin’ on the Heartbreak, Switch 625, Lady Strange, Mirror, Mirror (Look into My Eyes)

3 Pyromania 1983

It was time for Def Lep to really make their move, and Lange led the Brits to super-stardom with Pyromania, which only followed Michael Jackson’s Thriller in sales figures that year. The song Photograph made them the ‘it’ band, and with this album, they made their point: They’re awesome.

Best songs: Photograph, Stagefright, Too Late for Love, Die Hard the Hunter, Foolin’, Rock of Ages, Comin’ Under Fire, Billy’s Got a Gun

4 Hysteria 1987

Then came some real problems. Sure, they had the standard drug-and-alcohol issues like any band did, and had to replace members, but when the drummer, Rick Allen lost an arm in an auto accident, and Mutt Lange decided not to return as producer, it wouldn’t be easy to follow up on Pyromania. Four long years later, with Lange, who decided to come back, Def Leppard released their masterpiece album, Hysteria, with Rick Allen on drums despite having only one arm. Pour Some Sugar on Me came blaring out of the U.S. radios and the album flew off the racks. In all, the record had seven hits. By the end of the 80s, Def Leppard had sold more albums than any other rock band in the decade, even more than Guns N’ Roses and Bon Jovi.

Best songs: Women, Rocket, Animal, Love Bits, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Armageddon It, Run Riot, Hysteria

5 Adrenalize 1992

Bad habits caught up with guitarist Steve Clark, and he died. The 80’s Glam Wave ended (See Gunaxin’s 80s Glam: When Metal Was Still Fun) as Nirvana and other Seattle-area bands made Grunge mainstream, and 80s bands were no longer cool. However, Def Leppard still managed to put out an album that people bought, as Let’s Get Rocked hit the charts, followed by five other hits. Though it’s a good album overall, it had the potential to fall flat considering this genre of music was on the decline.

Best songs: Let’s Get Rocked, Heaven Is, Make Love Like a Man, Tonight, White Lightning, Personal Property, Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad

6 Retro Active 1993

A compilation of B-sides and previously unreleased tracks, Retro Active wasn’t supposed to be a big hit, but it still sold more than 3 million copies as Two Steps Behind was featured in the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Last Action Hero. True fans were still listening.

Best songs: Desert Song, Two Steps Behind, She’s Too Tough, Miss You in a Heartbeat, From the Inside, Ring of Fire, I Wanna Be Your Hero

7 Vault: Greatest Hits 1995

Typically a sign that a band is way past its prime, Def Leppard released a greatest hits album, with a new song, When Love & Hate Collide. Like with many bands, those who bought this album were mostly the ones who had previously liked Def Leppard but never bought their music before. It sold 8 million copies.

Best song: When Love & Hate Collide

8 Slang 1996

It’s the late career experimental time. Def Leppard tossed aside their traditional sound and tried new things. It resulted in an album that only cult followers would purchase. Though it contained awful songs like the title track, and Breathe a Sigh which was supposed to sound like a Boys II Men track, songs like Pearl of Euphoria became favorites that few had discovered, and lyric-lovers found poetry to appreciate in Where Does Love Go When it Dies.

Best songs: Truth?, Turn to Dust, Blood Runs Cold, Where Does Love Go When It Dies, Pearl of Euphoria

9 Euphoria 1999

Def Leppard returned to their classic sound and reunited with Mutt Lange. Promises hit the air and this would have been one of their biggest hits had it been released ten years earlier. The album had many other good songs but no one other than the true fans even bothered to listen.

Best songs: Demolition Man, Promises, Goodbye, Paper Sun, To Be Alive, Guilty, Day After Day, Kings of Obivion

10 X 2002

Def Leppard suddenly decided to be a pop band, and though fans still showed up for their concerts, the album was not a success.

Best songs: Now

11 Yeah! 2006

Still touring, Def Leppard released an all-covers album which paid homage to classic rock songs of their childhood, by bands such as Blondie, The Kinks, Sweet, ELO, and Badfinger among others. The problem with this album was that many fans who grew up with them in the 80s didn’t really know these 70s songs, nor did they like them. In fact, most of them outright sucked. David Essex’s Rock On was okay, but hardly anything worth running out and buying.

Best songs: Rock On, Stay With Me

12 Songs from the Sparkle Lounge 2008

Okay, a new studio album, and the true fans are willing to see what these fellas have up their sleeve. The name itself was a huge turnoff, but we gave it a listen. The highlight? A song called Nine Lives which featured country singer Tim McGraw. Joe Elliot sings one of the lines in the song is “Have you lost your touch?” Yes Def Leppard, you have.

Best songs: N/A

So, as you can see, like many other bands, Def Leppard peaked, then went downhill. But more importantly, we need to decide, once and for all, if this band, ultimately, is cool. My vote is yes, despite some displeasure. After all, Fonzie is cool, but he was the one who literally jumped the shark which coined the phrase. So, it’s now up to you, the loyal Gunaxin audience, to decide.

Top Ten Worst Muppets

Even the best shows on television have bad characters. And like anything on the internet, this list has been made before (shocker, I know). However, those other lists include characters such as Miss Piggy, Sam the Eagle, Animal (one of the BEST Muppets), and even Kermit! Blasphemy. So here is the real list of Muppets who suck.

10

Scooter

The backstage ‘gofer’ was only good for the ’15 seconds to curtain!’ gag that he did for virtually every guest star. Other than that, he was just an orange waste of space.


9

Wayne and Wanda

The gag started as a good idea, as Muppet Wiki explains:

Wayne and Wanda are a singing duo who performed regularly during the first season of The Muppet Show, often introduced by Sam the Eagle, who approved of their “wholesome, uplifting, and decent” act but was constantly frustrated by their inability to get past the first verse of any song. While their sketches began as mellow and classy, they always ended in disaster, seemingly foretold by the title of their chosen song.

But even Kermit got sick of them, fired them, got tricked into rehiring them, and fired them again.

 


8

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, who looks like a yellow bowling ball with glasses, is the resident scientist and host of Muppet Labs. He worked alone in Season One of the Muppet Show. It wasn’t good. Fortunately, for Season Two, he hired an assistant, Beaker, one of the funniest Muppets, and Honeydew became bearable only because Beaker was always there to provide actual comedy.

This just doesn’t work without Beaker


7

Mr. Poodlepants

An over-the-top character on Muppets Tonight who I would never leave alone with my kids. He looks like the Child Molester Muppet.


6

The Bears

The Muppets already had Fozzie Bear, but that wasn’t enough. So they hired more bear-looking bears. Why stop there? Why not hire more frog-looking frogs, or pig-looking pigs? There was little point to these bears.


5

Janice

Named for Janis Joplin and designed to bare the frame of Mick Jagger, Janice the Muppet is the valley girl guitar player in the band Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem. She is freaky looking, not funny, and not the stereotypical guitar player that the band could have hired in her place. Imagine, instead, a Keith Richards-inspired Muppet instead of this blonde talentless airhead.

 


4

Waldo C. Graphic

This is a computer-generated character, who appeared in Jim Henson’s MuppetVision 3D and The Jim Henson Hour. Yeah, that’s why we watch the Muppets – for this guy.


3

Clifford

From The Jim Henson Hour and Muppets Tonight, I think Clifford is supposed to be the token smooth-talking black Muppet who is really cool and hip, but instead he made people not wanna watch. He once appeared on The Arsenio Hall Show and revealed that he enjoys being spanked. Creepy. Only Gonzo could have gotten away with that.

 


2

Robin

Once one of the top social parody shows on television, The Muppet Show actually was awful when Kermit’s nephew came on screen. Robin would have been fine for Sesame Street and the Elmo-loving crowd, but there was no reason to shove this little ‘lovable’ amphibian down our throats on The Muppet Show.

 


1

Pepe the Prawn

What in the hell is this? He’s scary looking, that’s all, and he makes me not want to watch.